Sweet P.

There's a sweet new picture on the sidebar of the blog.  I was waiting to post a picture of Sweet P herself but decided she still needs her own "picture" until I can share the real deal.

I just got the best news I could possibly get today:  our homestudy is complete and it's in the mail!  I sort of want to scream "FINALLY!" but I'll contain myself so my kids will keep napping.

Blessings, angela

fishy.

My kiddos need no prodding to eat sugar.  I decided I wasn't going to stock the house with Valentine candy because I knew we'd be making our traditional heart cookies (in honor of my mom, a Valentine baby!), so the other day at Walmart I had an idea.  This is where the story should have stopped, a siren should have rung, a flag should have gone up... but alas,  I proceeded.  

We like to swing by the fish tanks during most Walmart trips, and this time I thought a 38 cent goldfish would make a mighty fine Valentine gift for Peanut and Buddy.  I figured if it didn't make it, no huge loss, and it would take the place of heart candy and chocolate.  The kids are good wheelers and dealers, and we left with three little fish... the gold one for Peanut, the greenish one for Buddy and spot for "our adoption child", as Peanut calls her.  So far so good.  

We made it a day before Peanut decided to feed the fish on her own, dumping a good pile of flakes into the bowl.  They lived, aside from residing in murky, nasty water.  I intended to change it but other to do list items won out.  Most importantly, we needed to make Valentine cookies.  My little helper joined me, along with my new double stacking cookie rack.  

All was well.  We rolled, cut, baked, cooled.  My Peanut is quite the sprinkler.  She firmly believes cookies are best when piled with a mountain of sprinkles, so I let her loose. She sprinkled and sprinkled until her little heart was content.  Time for a cute picture...

...then I snap another and notice through the viewfinder that my little helper (who must go wash her hands if she so much as licks a fingertip) is drinking the sprinkles straight from the jar.  Once I put a halt to it, I grab the dustbuster and go to work on the floors.

As I turn it off, I stand back up to see her blissfully throwing handfuls of sprinkles into the fishbowl!  Needless to say, I didn't stop to snap a picture.  I saw the fish already taste testing and rescued them from their death.  Below you will notice them all huddled together in the mixing bowl wondering what on earth just happened.

For all you PETA members, the fish survived and are happily swimming and eating fish flakes in their bowl as I type.  They are probably even happier because they got that aforementioned water change out of the whole ordeal.

...and I got my favorite Valentine treat of all, Mommy's sugar cookies!  

Happy birthday, Mom!

This one is my favorite cookie of all.  Peanut and I decided to make some crosses too, since Jesus' love is the best kind of love to have on Valentine's Day and every day.  She decided it needed one solo heart right in the middle.  Love it.  

Happy Valentine's Day to each of you!  Blessings, angela

ultrasound.

I remember all too well my feelings going into the big 20 week ultrasound with Peanut and Buddy.  Finally we would get to peek in and see all the body parts with enough clarity to measure and determine if something might not be quite right.  K and I both knew no matter what ultrasounds or blood work showed about our baby, it was ours.  The Lord predetermined all the parts and pieces of our child and we were confident whatever that meant, nothing would change how we felt about that baby.

Yesterday we received a doctor's evaluation of the child we have chosen, P.  We are not assigned to her yet, so we aren't at liberty to give full details.  However, finding the report in my email felt a little bit like going into an ultrasound.  I opened to read a thorough report of P's health history.  There were a couple of surprises tucked inside, including her birth weight.  Assuming P is ours, she will be the smallest of my children at birth by a pound an a half!    That may seem insignificant to you, but to this mommy, all those little details of her life are little treasures to ponder.

Our little P will likely be two years when we get to bring her home, and I already have feelings of loss over all the details and memories and moments I have missed.  I am praising the Lord for a couple holes that were filled in by the medical report.  It did leave us with a couple of questions though, but they in no way change our desire to have P in our family.  We hope to have that word within the next couple weeks.  It couldn't come soon enough.

Blessings, angela

twins.

I've always sort of wished I was a twin. There's something so special about two babies living every second of their lives together since the moment of conception.  Maybe I wished for it because many people assumed I was one all along.  I loved nothing more than getting confused for my sister once I was in high school and then in college.  Even some of our extended family still cannot tell us apart!  I remember time after time, telling Megan something like "some girl with brown curly hair and glasses was so friendly and told me how much fun she had last week."  I'd just smile and agree and say whatever seemed appropriate since passing conversations don't always leave time for an explanation that I wasn't who they thought.

Much of my early life was lived wishing I was the same age as Megan.  I was probably showing the attitude below since it wasn't my birthday too.  I used to think we should get the same privileges and gifts at exactly the same time, even though I was 20 months younger.

We need to take more pictures of just us because this one is three years old!

It's amazing that at the mention of our adoption or the country, there seems to be an instant connection with so many people!  I have found out a few of my friends are adopted and even some strangers who cared to share their story.  What is quite amazing to me is how I came around to knowing Ann.

We were went to a small university together for a few years in a smallish west Texas town.  I can't remember ever talking to her but knew who she was, probably because she had a twin sister.  Twins seem to be notorious, don't they?  I got connected with Ann again through a girl in my sorority (for lack of a better word, my Wildcat friends) who said Ann and her husband are serving as missionaries in the country where our child is.  As we write back and forth, Ann continues to encourage me with the deepest sincerity... she seems to write words to say "keep pressing on even when the waiting seems unbearable.  It will all be so worth it!" when I most need them.  The reason her words mean so much is because Ann is adopted.  I love reading her words that are saturated with appreciation for her parents who adopted her.  

It has meant so much to reread her words over the past couple of weeks as our homestudy still awaits completion.  I get teary-eyed thinking this may keep our child in an orphanage a few weeks longer, but I also trust the Lord is watching over and protecting him or her.  I am also trusting that this time of waiting will seem short once our child is home with us!  

Come quickly, sweet background checks!  Blessings, angela

why now?

Have you wondered the same thing about us adopting? Honestly, I have asked it of myself. With a big move on the horizon, life could get messy in the near future. Then pile on bringing a new little one into the picture who cannot understand a lick of English and may be completely frightened of the "white woman" who insists she is now her mother. Things could get down right ridiculous at our house.

So, why now?

I mentioned earlier that K and I have discussed adoption since our first year of marriage. I remember clearly the first mention of it. I drove home from work one day and heard a radio show about the blessings of adoption and knew instantly we would someday. When I mentioned it to K over dinner, the boiled-down response was, "Let's see if we can have our own children first, then we can talk about it." My response was immediately, "Okay, we can try first and then we can adopt. I don't care what order, I just know we are supposed to do it." We didn't talk much about it because I knew K's reaction and that I would bring it up the moment I was pregnant. By then we'd know we could have our own and then it would be okay, by his words, to adopt.

We were given Peanut as a gift from the Lord about four years after we were married. Of course we'd discussed adoption as it came up along the way, usually by way of "convenient" adoption stories I relayed to K. Then about 22 months later Buddy came along. Pregnancy was great with both of them, but deliveries were both pretty scary. That is when we decided we would pursue adoption for our next child, whenever the time seemed right.

K was away for work this summer and during one particular phone call, he asked me, "So, how soon do you want to start the adoption?" Stopped me in my tracks. Did I hear him correctly? My heart was so thrilled at the urgency I heard in his voice and that he was fully ready to begin. Yet, we sort of decided we'd wait until after our next move to begin the process, but I started researching some options and asking lots of questions of friends who've adopted.

Last fall I started Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is a life-changing book that includes story after story of people who received the love of Christ and their lives took amazing turns. People around them didn't always understand why on earth they would "give up" profession or money or fame or whatever meant so much to them in order to serve Jesus. Honestly, anyone who truly understands all Jesus has done for humanity has no other response to the Gospel but to give their life to the sharing of it with a lost and hurting world! The book kept convicting me over and over that adoption may be sooner than we neatly planned as we mapped out our life. Uh oh. Things may get a little messy.

November 8, 2009. A day that pushed us over the edge. I'm still trying to figure out if Pastor Jeff was reading our email because he asked our church what crazy (I don't think he used that word but that's what I heard!) thing we might do because we've been saved by Jesus. *As a side note, no one is saved by works. Quite the contrary. Christ did all that needs done to save me when He died on the cross. Anything I do for Him is merely a response of gratitude for what He already did for me.* Jeff brought up two families in our church who did seemingly outlandish things by adopting. One family now has nine children, six of which are by adoption. Another couple was nearing retirement with an empty nest and adopted three older children from Russia. I leaned over to K in church and told him, "I think it's time to mail our application." He agreed.

The next day we mailed it and began this blog.

good grief.

Something always comes up to slow you down, doesn't it? We may have a 3-4 week delay until our homestudy is completed. The latest is that we must get background checks (to say whether we've had a child abuse or neglect report filed in their state) from every state we've lived in. Thankfully we've already gotten the one we're residing in, but there is a long list. If you know what K does for a living, you know we have lived all over creation.

One country and one state do not keep such lists.  Not totally sure what to think about that. On one hand, scary for children in those states... on the other, one less thing for us to do and pay for! So the last two reports we need are from the states where we went to college. The only reason I'm complaining about the delay is that we did not even have children at that time, so why on earth would we have a child abuse report filed on our non-existent children? Love all the bureaucracy.

Time to pray this paperwork moves through at lightening speed so we bring our child home sooner! It makes me sick to my stomach to think he or she may have to live in an orphanage an extra month because of this.

Lord Almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth, give me peace. ...and whatever comes from this, all praise is Yours.

Blessings, angela

p.s. I'll reward you for commiserating with me with some pictures of Buddy's birthday.

We took advantage of the free birthday dinner at Red Robin!  Not a clear picture but Buddy looks so cute I can hardly stand it.

giving Pooh a check-up

If any of you have suggestions for making the icing smoother or piping long lines in one whole piece, I would love to hear them.

the birthday boy

sugar high

These two love birthday hats.  Peanut has been talking for days about wearing them, and she is still wearing one this minute as I type.  She calls herself a unicorn!

Have a blessed weekend!

gearing up.

This is a very exciting week. Our homestudy draft was emailed to us last Friday, we made revisions (which included removing "000" from Kevin's income, putting us in the millionaire category. Slight oversight.), then sent it back to our social worker. She will send it on to our adoption agency for comments, then we will be able to be assigned to our child! We are hoping it will happen within the next week but could be a little longer. Everything seems to take too long when you are waiting.

Next, Buddy's 2nd birthday is Thursday. I can hardly believe my baby is almost 2! WOW! That means we have lived here for two whole years... it really feels like time is flying. We moved to Virginia when I was 36 weeks pregnant, moved into our home two weeks later, then he was born two weeks later. In the past month or so, Buddy has really started acting like a big boy and I'm not sure I like it one bit. He does still let me hold him for snuggles, and he readily gives hugs and kisses and even says "I love you, Mom," but he's no baby anymore.

He is hilarious and is becoming quite the copycat of Peanut. He loves construction trucks and cars and trains... anything with wheels. So, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised he enjoys pushing around the stroller. He's gearing up for the big 2 celebration on Thursday. Enjoy.

(Please don't mind the weekend pjs and mess of toys.)