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I remember all too well my feelings going into the big 20 week ultrasound with Peanut and Buddy. Finally we would get to peek in and see all the body parts with enough clarity to measure and determine if something might not be quite right. K and I both knew no matter what ultrasounds or blood work showed about our baby, it was ours. The Lord predetermined all the parts and pieces of our child and we were confident whatever that meant, nothing would change how we felt about that baby.
Yesterday we received a doctor's evaluation of the child we have chosen, P. We are not assigned to her yet, so we aren't at liberty to give full details. However, finding the report in my email felt a little bit like going into an ultrasound. I opened to read a thorough report of P's health history. There were a couple of surprises tucked inside, including her birth weight. Assuming P is ours, she will be the smallest of my children at birth by a pound an a half! That may seem insignificant to you, but to this mommy, all those little details of her life are little treasures to ponder.
Our little P will likely be two years when we get to bring her home, and I already have feelings of loss over all the details and memories and moments I have missed. I am praising the Lord for a couple holes that were filled in by the medical report. It did leave us with a couple of questions though, but they in no way change our desire to have P in our family. We hope to have that word within the next couple weeks. It couldn't come soon enough.
Blessings, angela
I love the way you put all that. I know it is hard to know what you are missing in the two years before she comes to you--praying for God to prepare you in just the perfect unique ways to fit with her like a perfect puzzle finally coming together. And praying for sweet P tonight, that the Lord will continue to protect her, provide for her, and fill her young heart with the knowledge that she is loved. Think of you guys often. Praying for you as you ask questions and receive answers, especially in those surprises that are tucked in there. May God give you wisdom and strength as you continue waiting and taking the next steps in this adventure.
ReplyDeleteAngela, Having never had a child of my own, I for one appreciate what you will miss of your new child's life. But you will find what you get from your new child will much more blessed because of it. I can't wait to meet her.
ReplyDeleteIn Christ Alone.
I can't wait to meet Sweet Pea, too! Or whichever child God has already ordained for you and your family. I'm anxious to catch up and find out more details. :)
ReplyDelete