twins.

I've always sort of wished I was a twin. There's something so special about two babies living every second of their lives together since the moment of conception.  Maybe I wished for it because many people assumed I was one all along.  I loved nothing more than getting confused for my sister once I was in high school and then in college.  Even some of our extended family still cannot tell us apart!  I remember time after time, telling Megan something like "some girl with brown curly hair and glasses was so friendly and told me how much fun she had last week."  I'd just smile and agree and say whatever seemed appropriate since passing conversations don't always leave time for an explanation that I wasn't who they thought.

Much of my early life was lived wishing I was the same age as Megan.  I was probably showing the attitude below since it wasn't my birthday too.  I used to think we should get the same privileges and gifts at exactly the same time, even though I was 20 months younger.

We need to take more pictures of just us because this one is three years old!

It's amazing that at the mention of our adoption or the country, there seems to be an instant connection with so many people!  I have found out a few of my friends are adopted and even some strangers who cared to share their story.  What is quite amazing to me is how I came around to knowing Ann.

We were went to a small university together for a few years in a smallish west Texas town.  I can't remember ever talking to her but knew who she was, probably because she had a twin sister.  Twins seem to be notorious, don't they?  I got connected with Ann again through a girl in my sorority (for lack of a better word, my Wildcat friends) who said Ann and her husband are serving as missionaries in the country where our child is.  As we write back and forth, Ann continues to encourage me with the deepest sincerity... she seems to write words to say "keep pressing on even when the waiting seems unbearable.  It will all be so worth it!" when I most need them.  The reason her words mean so much is because Ann is adopted.  I love reading her words that are saturated with appreciation for her parents who adopted her.  

It has meant so much to reread her words over the past couple of weeks as our homestudy still awaits completion.  I get teary-eyed thinking this may keep our child in an orphanage a few weeks longer, but I also trust the Lord is watching over and protecting him or her.  I am also trusting that this time of waiting will seem short once our child is home with us!  

Come quickly, sweet background checks!  Blessings, angela

why now?

Have you wondered the same thing about us adopting? Honestly, I have asked it of myself. With a big move on the horizon, life could get messy in the near future. Then pile on bringing a new little one into the picture who cannot understand a lick of English and may be completely frightened of the "white woman" who insists she is now her mother. Things could get down right ridiculous at our house.

So, why now?

I mentioned earlier that K and I have discussed adoption since our first year of marriage. I remember clearly the first mention of it. I drove home from work one day and heard a radio show about the blessings of adoption and knew instantly we would someday. When I mentioned it to K over dinner, the boiled-down response was, "Let's see if we can have our own children first, then we can talk about it." My response was immediately, "Okay, we can try first and then we can adopt. I don't care what order, I just know we are supposed to do it." We didn't talk much about it because I knew K's reaction and that I would bring it up the moment I was pregnant. By then we'd know we could have our own and then it would be okay, by his words, to adopt.

We were given Peanut as a gift from the Lord about four years after we were married. Of course we'd discussed adoption as it came up along the way, usually by way of "convenient" adoption stories I relayed to K. Then about 22 months later Buddy came along. Pregnancy was great with both of them, but deliveries were both pretty scary. That is when we decided we would pursue adoption for our next child, whenever the time seemed right.

K was away for work this summer and during one particular phone call, he asked me, "So, how soon do you want to start the adoption?" Stopped me in my tracks. Did I hear him correctly? My heart was so thrilled at the urgency I heard in his voice and that he was fully ready to begin. Yet, we sort of decided we'd wait until after our next move to begin the process, but I started researching some options and asking lots of questions of friends who've adopted.

Last fall I started Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is a life-changing book that includes story after story of people who received the love of Christ and their lives took amazing turns. People around them didn't always understand why on earth they would "give up" profession or money or fame or whatever meant so much to them in order to serve Jesus. Honestly, anyone who truly understands all Jesus has done for humanity has no other response to the Gospel but to give their life to the sharing of it with a lost and hurting world! The book kept convicting me over and over that adoption may be sooner than we neatly planned as we mapped out our life. Uh oh. Things may get a little messy.

November 8, 2009. A day that pushed us over the edge. I'm still trying to figure out if Pastor Jeff was reading our email because he asked our church what crazy (I don't think he used that word but that's what I heard!) thing we might do because we've been saved by Jesus. *As a side note, no one is saved by works. Quite the contrary. Christ did all that needs done to save me when He died on the cross. Anything I do for Him is merely a response of gratitude for what He already did for me.* Jeff brought up two families in our church who did seemingly outlandish things by adopting. One family now has nine children, six of which are by adoption. Another couple was nearing retirement with an empty nest and adopted three older children from Russia. I leaned over to K in church and told him, "I think it's time to mail our application." He agreed.

The next day we mailed it and began this blog.

good grief.

Something always comes up to slow you down, doesn't it? We may have a 3-4 week delay until our homestudy is completed. The latest is that we must get background checks (to say whether we've had a child abuse or neglect report filed in their state) from every state we've lived in. Thankfully we've already gotten the one we're residing in, but there is a long list. If you know what K does for a living, you know we have lived all over creation.

One country and one state do not keep such lists.  Not totally sure what to think about that. On one hand, scary for children in those states... on the other, one less thing for us to do and pay for! So the last two reports we need are from the states where we went to college. The only reason I'm complaining about the delay is that we did not even have children at that time, so why on earth would we have a child abuse report filed on our non-existent children? Love all the bureaucracy.

Time to pray this paperwork moves through at lightening speed so we bring our child home sooner! It makes me sick to my stomach to think he or she may have to live in an orphanage an extra month because of this.

Lord Almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth, give me peace. ...and whatever comes from this, all praise is Yours.

Blessings, angela

p.s. I'll reward you for commiserating with me with some pictures of Buddy's birthday.

We took advantage of the free birthday dinner at Red Robin!  Not a clear picture but Buddy looks so cute I can hardly stand it.

giving Pooh a check-up

If any of you have suggestions for making the icing smoother or piping long lines in one whole piece, I would love to hear them.

the birthday boy

sugar high

These two love birthday hats.  Peanut has been talking for days about wearing them, and she is still wearing one this minute as I type.  She calls herself a unicorn!

Have a blessed weekend!

gearing up.

This is a very exciting week. Our homestudy draft was emailed to us last Friday, we made revisions (which included removing "000" from Kevin's income, putting us in the millionaire category. Slight oversight.), then sent it back to our social worker. She will send it on to our adoption agency for comments, then we will be able to be assigned to our child! We are hoping it will happen within the next week but could be a little longer. Everything seems to take too long when you are waiting.

Next, Buddy's 2nd birthday is Thursday. I can hardly believe my baby is almost 2! WOW! That means we have lived here for two whole years... it really feels like time is flying. We moved to Virginia when I was 36 weeks pregnant, moved into our home two weeks later, then he was born two weeks later. In the past month or so, Buddy has really started acting like a big boy and I'm not sure I like it one bit. He does still let me hold him for snuggles, and he readily gives hugs and kisses and even says "I love you, Mom," but he's no baby anymore.

He is hilarious and is becoming quite the copycat of Peanut. He loves construction trucks and cars and trains... anything with wheels. So, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised he enjoys pushing around the stroller. He's gearing up for the big 2 celebration on Thursday. Enjoy.

(Please don't mind the weekend pjs and mess of toys.)

cha-ching.

It's expensive to adopt. I'm sure you know that though.

 ...but I've been surprised by how inexpensive it is compared to my expectations. Since some of you have mentioned interest in adoption and have even asked about the financial side of the process, I hope this serves to encourage you if you'd like to add to your family through adoption.

Our agency (please email me and ask if you want contact info) is almost half as expensive as other international agencies. Why? They want to keep costs lower so more families can afford to adopt - or adopt more children.

For many who might consider adoption, the financial aspect seems to be a huge deterrent.  It's expensive.  Period.  You may have heard nightmare stories of families getting into huge financial trouble due to an adoption.  I know I have.  But I also know I serve a God who has called us to care for the orphan (James 1:27) and He is ultimately our Provider.  So far we have had to make "sacrifices" (I use that word very lightly) to make this happen, but we know it will be worth it when we bring our child home.

An amazing and surprising part of this whole journey has been the people the Lord has moved to help us.  Without getting into too many specifics, all the help many of you have provided has truly meant a lot.

Now, without further ado, the financial break-down.

  250   Application fee to agency
1800   Processing fee to agency
    10   DVD of waiting children
1850   Homestudy (however, an average cost for homestudy is 2000)
    20   State Police to have fingerprints done to send to (next item)
  100   State Treasurer to process fingerprints for criminal background check
    15   Child Protective Services to verify we've never had history with them
    30   State Police to get  notarized copies of our background checks
------
4075   Costs already paid

  670   Visa petition for child
  160   Fingerprinting for an FBI background check
3200   Placement of child fee
  400   Visa issuance for child
4000   Travel Costs for required two week stay in country to file paperwork to bring the child home (this is the agency's average but it fluctuates based on time of year for buying plane tickets and hotel)
  900   Post placement social worker reports (three of them) sent to the country
  ???    Trip to the country's nearest embassy in the U.S. one year after bringing the child home to be interviewed and finalize the adoption (we will not have officially adopted our child until this point!)
-------
9330 Estimate of expected costs


13,405 TOTAL Estimated Costs 

All these costs are based specifically on the country we're adopting from and the agencies we are using to process our adoption and complete our homestudy.  They could vary greatly depending on either of those factors.  From personal research I have seen many domestic adoptions costing more than our expected total, so it's not always more expensive to adopt internationally as I assumed.

Something to keep in mind is the U.S. govt gives about a $12,000 tax credit for each child adopted. The kicker is, you can use this amount over four years! Let me give an example to clarify. Say you adopt a child and owe $2000 in taxes for the year. You would owe no taxes due to the credit, then also have $10,000 credit to be used toward the following three years. Depending on your tax situation, that could be a really great deal!  Then again, if you purchase a home and have other deductions for the year, you may not benefit from this credit.

I'm surprised if I have many readers still with me at this point.  This is not exactly the most exciting reading, but I hope it's been insightful for those of you genuinely interested in adoption.  Please send any further questions my way if I still left you with some.  I am happy to help or point you in the right direction.

Blessings, angela

let's be merry.

One last post of pictures of Christmas, then I'm gearing up for the financial break-down of adoption.  I didn't want to total it up before Jesus' birthday -- let's keep the spotlight on the real reason for all this merry-making just a little bit longer.

But first, I must share with the blogworld my awesome husband sporting an iceskating themed vest at his work Christmas party.  Unfortunately, he didn't win the prize for tackiest outfit.

Never seen a man look so good in a sweater vest.  Ever.  :)

Every Christmas Eve after the Christmas Eve service, K reads the Christmas story of Jesus to the kiddos.  Peanut really understood this year that we were celebrating Jesus' birthday, that we get to share in the celebration by giving gifts and decorating our home.  It was my most fun Christmas to date because the kids were so involved in the whole celebration!

We hardly spent anything on gifts because of the adoption, so it was an added blessing that the grandparents had fun buying for the kids!  Peanut and Buddy were thrilled to finally figure out that we actually got to open the "decorations" that had been under the tree for weeks.  This year we decided to open gifts after church so Christmas morning would be a little less chaotic and we could take our time.

Buddy sat patiently watching as each gift was opened.

Then he opened his Indian gift set from Uncle Drew...

and I think he may be ready to play for our next family powwow.  Really.

So you didn't know or couldn't tell I'm part Indian?  (I really am, but no, we don't go to powwows, although I have convinced many people of that over my almost 30 years.  Sorry to disappoint you if you still thought so.)

Peanut took it upon herself to tell lots of people this year "We get gifts from Santa because it's Jesus' birthday."  She said that just before she told them, "I'm getting a pink princess scooter for my birthday.  It's in the top of my mom's closet."  Guess it's not a good idea to buy a birthday gift for her, in her presence.  But it was on big time sale for Christmas and I hoped she would forget!  Doubtful.

The first of many rounds of her new Ladybug Game from Pops and Grandma, while wearing the flapper dress-up outfit from Papa and Juju.  Fun times.

Christmas morning!  Peanut got a doll house my sweet friend Beth gave us.  It looks brand new and Beth didn't want to move it when they pack up next month.  Thanks Beth, for blessing us with it!  Buddy got a train table that Grandma Grace helped buy, which is also his birthday gift when he turns the big 2 in a couple weeks.  He loves it!

We really missed being with our extended family this year, but it was still a wonderful time of celebration.

I'm so grateful for my kids and being able to find new joy through their eyes as they took part in all our Christmas traditions.  We made a few new ones of our own this year that I'm excited to share with (hopefully) three kids next year.

We have a Christmas journal where we record what gift we would like to give Jesus for the coming year.  We think and pray about it before the big day, and then we have a time to share our "gifts" as a family.  For instance, last year I gave Jesus a pillow to symbolize spending time with him during the kids naptime, and Peanut said she wanted to give Him cake.  This year she wants to give Him prayers.  I went ahead and asked Buddy what he'd like to give Jesus, to which he replied enthusiastically, "Santa!"  Maybe by next year he'll have a better grasp.  At least it will make us laugh as we read back over it each Christmas.

One last picture from our Christmas dinner with our friends Mark and Ginny.

It was a tremendous blessing to share the day with them, and we are grateful Jesus blessed us with their friendship during the past year!

Hope your Christmas was very merry and full of Jesus.  Blessings, angela

hearts

We have a surplus of tiny candy canes at our house. Don't ask why. But I searched to find some candy cane craft ideas this week, and Peanut and I made up hearts to put on the tree for everyone in our family. Yes, there's five. Even though there hasn't been any official assignment of our waiting child, he or she is already taking up a huge part of my heart! I wish so much right now to have him or her here with us for Christmas instead of residing in an orphanage.

I don't know about you, but I have watched Annie one too many times. Still love that movie after all these years! I didn't see Miss Hannigan on the video of the children we received, thankfully, but I do wonder more and more about what the conditions are like. Where do they lay down to sleep? Do they receive comfort if they scrape a knee or wake up crying at night? Will they eat Christmas cookies this week or even get a gift?

Regardless of what our child already knows about Christmas, I am praying we will get to share it with three kids next year. I cannot wait for K to sit down on Christmas Eve and read about Mary and Joseph and tell how our glorious Savior began His life on earth in a humble manger. I can't wait to let all the kids go crazy with sprinkles on the Christmas cookies! I can't wait to see him or her run down the stairs with Peanut and Buddy to see what's under the tree on Christmas morning. I never realized how much more I would love Christmas as an adult... being able to stand back and watch it all through the eyes of my children. I am pretty sure I will treasure the memories of Christmas as a parent the most!

Earlier this week we went to Yankee Candle in Williamsburg and Santa made an appearance just before we were leaving.  The kids weren't exactly dressed up for a picture with the big guy, so I thought they could wave and then go.  Well, he walked out and kneeled down.  First, Peanut ran over and gave him a hug, then Buddy ran up and latched on.  Really.  He stood exactly as you see below for a good three minutes without letting go while Santa talked to other children.  I think Buddy confused the furry trim for his blankey, but Santa didn't seem to mind.

Right now we're in waiting mode as we await our homestudy to be finalized. Once that is completed by our social worker, we will be assigned to our child and be able to request an appointment to have FBI fingerprints and background checks done. That's why there hasn't been as much adoption talk here lately, but I have had requests for info about the financial side of our adoption. I will get to that shortly because I know that was one of my greatest questions before we began the process. I hope to break it down simply for those of you interested in adopting someday!

Oh, and I have to add that we finally got snow!! We live on the ocean edge of Virginia and it rained and rained all morning and finally turned to snow this evening. Peanut was not pleased that she couldn't go out and play in it in the pitch dark, but hopefully it will stick around in the morning!

Celebrating the incredible gift of Jesus, angela