choices. not always a good thing.

Today it arrived. Not a child, unfortunately. K was out of the house when Mr. Mailman (I have a feeling he's going to make it into lots of my posts!) delivered it so I had to wait an hour to view it.

What is it?

A DVD containing video of all the waiting children in our country that we can adopt. K and I took a moment to pray before we watched the videos... thanking the Lord for even the chance to consider adoption and that He would either make one child stand out as completely "ours" or give us wisdom as we decide which child to choose.

I'll admit, it was a bit overwhelming to push play. I wondered if I would fall in love with each and every one of them. I didn't want to make light of the choice, seeing them as just another decision. Unfortunately for K, you can't check Consumer Reports on this one. (if you know my darling boy, you will think that's funny!) It was a bit gut wrenching to see all the beautiful faces and hear about their physical special needs, knowing that when we choose one, we still leave the rest behind. I committed in my heart to continue praying for their forever families to choose them, too. I cannot bear the thought of otherwise.



There wasn't just one child that stood out to us. In fact, there are five children we are going to ask questions about before making a decision. All of them have some kind of special need, ranging from minor to more. Tears well up in my eyes as I think about how precious each one of them is and that I can't bring them all home.

I also keep thinking about how when I gave birth to Peanut and Buddy, I got what I got. It seems unfair to be able to choose what I feel "qualified" to deal with in our adopted child. If my first two had been born with any number of needs, I would have immediately stepped up to the plate to care for them as best I could and sought help for the ways I couldn't. To be able to make a decision seems quite ridiculous to me. Lord, help me. Help us. Give us eyes to see what you want and give us hearts big enough to wrap around whatever awaits us at the end of this adoption process.

I'm working on a post to show off some things I've been making lately. Adoption costs will be a future post, but let's just say there are more little costs that keep popping up at almost every corner. I want to do a little to help with some of them by selling some items I'm hoping you will want for Christmas gifts!

Blessings, angela